Bitchy Bingo - A Different Kind of Garden

Let this be known: transvestites take their bingo seriously. For real, bitches, for REAL.

Last night's adventure in our fair city took us to Bitchy Bingo at Lips. This was a garden of glitter, an orchard of organza (or fauxganza, as the case may be), a vineyard of sparkly beaded shimmery spandex and feathers and fake eyelashes and chi chi's, and probably some duct tape under all that. It was a real Victor Victoria thing, minus Julie Andrews and all that amazing show(wo)mansip. There were many fruits in this fair garden, maybe even a few nuts, but no vegetables.

The waitresses gave us quite a talking to, as there were some shoes worn by a particular person at our table which were not up to drag-queen standards. "Listen, bitch. . .you are too pretty to be wearing those ugly thangs on your feet. I don't care if you got bad knees! Get you some heels, and just walk real slow. Just creep! Just move slow and smooth! My feet hurt like hell but at least I look good!! Take it from me, little miss ugly ass shoes, you need something new. Why don't your girlfriends take you shopping? What, don't they love you?" and on and on and on.

A few of performers were amazing, a few were less so, and all were bitchy.

CC won the first round of Bingo, and got a free T-shirt and some plastic tumblers. Tres chic. MK won a huge ration of crap from some very tall and glamorous ladies about her shoes. I ordered a virgin pina colada and got not just a fluffy drink with whip-cream and a cherry on top but many doubles entendres to boot. We all left winners.

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